Just Do It

Like a lot of people, I’ve always thought that starting anything is the hardest part. Once you get going, you have the momentum to carry on… but generating the energy to begin with is seemingly impossible. Now here I am with this snazzy blog, and nothing to talk about. Actually, I have a million things I want to talk about- it’s just that I’m not in the mood to talk about those things. Go figure.
______________________________________________________________
So, after Googling (<which, by the by, I m surprised the computer doesn’ t recognize as a word yet) “things to blog about”, and reading through lists of mostly stupid, boring and un-relateable subjects, I made some self-discoveries that I think are worth sharing.
I wrote one of my UCLA application essays on identity- about how I think life is a combination of discovering who you already are and creating who you want to be. Self discovery and self creation. I ’m a firm believer that people are born a certain way, we just don t always understand ourselves or develop to our true potential. I don’ t know why this whole thing suddenly popped into my head, but I just realized, that the person I am currently working so hard to become… is the very same person I have been all my life. Let me explain.
It kind of all comes down to college. That point in our lives where we make these crucial decisions, trying to find our way. Three years ago, my decision to study architecture felt somewhat forced- I knew had to chose a field, and I knew that I was good as drafting, and I wasn’ t interested in any the other majors I saw listed on college websites. Today, I study architecture, not only because I want to, but because I truly believe, it’s what I was born to do. By now, I bet you’re wondering where this is going- but it will all come together, I swear!
When I was in second grade, my dad went on a business trip to France and he sent me a postcard with the Eiffel Tower on it. That, combined with my childhood love of the show Madeline (did any of you watch that?!), and the bits of French I picked up in ballet class, sparked my lifelong desire to go to Paris. As soon as I have the money, that’ll be my first international travel destination. But, just now, I was wondering why I really want to go there. And there’s really only one answer… to see the Eiffel Tower. Sure, it’s an iconic, (and, as you’re probably thinking, overrated) landmark made of iron lattice (that the French living in 1889 found incredibly atrocious), but there is just SOMETHING about that tower that captured my heart the instant I saw it. It’s a 1050 foot work of art, every bit as impressive as the Mona Lisa siting in the Louvre.
Back in sixth grade, my history class was learning about Egypt, and we had to do a (pretty darn extensive) project on  a subject of our choice. I remember doing my research, and nothing seemed to interest me- not the mummies, not the geography, not the Pharaohs… I don’t remember the details, but somehow, I ended up choosing to do my project on the pyramids and the Sphinx (aka Egyptian architecture). Thinking back to it, that is probably the one and only segment of my elementary education that I remember finding absolutely fascinating. But of course, as a sixth grader, I wasn’t thinking about how to apply my interests to a career.
Later, in eighth grade, I remember having high school students come and give a presentation on the different electives offered at SYVHS. For some reason, drafting sparked my interest, but at the same time, it sounded a little to technical and overwhelming for someone just entering high school. So I ended up taking art instead. Two years down the road, I was looking an elective to fit in my schedule. But I remembered back to eighth grade, and how drafting sounded like it could be good for me. So I gave it a try. I was the only girl in that class my last two years of high school- and I didn’t like having to endure an hour and forty minutes, every other day, of stupid little freshman and sophomore boys and their shenanigans. And to be completely honest- it was pretty darn boring. All we did was create the technical drawings for existing objects- very engineer-oriented. But, the spring of my junior year, my teacher entered me in a county architecture competition. At first I was like uh, hello, I don’t know the first thing about designing a house, because all I do is sit around draw schematics of car parts with a bunch of little boys all day… but it obviously worked out for the best, because I ended up winning first place that year (which, by the way, I still don’t fully understand). And it wasn’t until the moment they handed me that trophy that I even considered the possibility of someday being an architect. That’s also when I found out that my dad had started out as an architecture major at USC (before supposedly switching to engineering because he anticipated the higher salary- but we all know he ended up as a spy so…). Anyway, the only reason I signed up for drafting a second year was so I could do that competition again. I placed seventh the second time around. By then, I’d already decided to study architecture, but there were still some doubts lurking in the back of my mind.
In my senior year of high school, my family went on a trip to DC. We did all the typical tourist sightseeing, but my parents didn’t seem to enjoy it quite as much as I did. I LOVED DC… there’s just something about all the classical white buildings and the stories behind them- I can’t even come up with words to describe it, but I loved it! It’s elegant, and exciting, and old, yet so clean and modern and beautiful!
Now, after actually having studied architecture for a year, I know I’m in the right field. The idea of designing the very world we live in, and having the power to manipulate human behavior and emotion with, essentially, a large-scale art project, BLOWS my mind. It’s kind of like being the indirect puppeteer of humanity… okay, now I just sound like a nerd.
My point is, that I think I was born to be a designer… and there were all these clues in my childhood- I just didn’t see them at the time. Even to this day, I’ll be watching TV, and I’ll think to myself, you know, I could’ve been an Olympic ice skater, or a dancer, or a scientist… but then I quickly realize why I’m NOT any of those things. It simply wasn’t meant to be.  Sure- I could’ve trained/studied/striven to become anything I wanted… but it wouldn’t be natural. It’s weird, it’s like, I just now put all this together. I feel like I’ve finished the straight-edge border of a puzzle, and now I’ve got the rest of my life to fill it in. Like, all the stress of the last few years, trying to “find myself” was so unnecessary, because I was there all the time, just looking in all the wrong places…