Emotions

Emotions are powerful and complicated things. Everyone has them, but everyone experiences them differently. As far as expression goes though, I'm pretty well known for being a "non-emotional" person. But what does that mean, exactly? I'm not a robot; I have feelings like any other human being, I just deal with them in a noticeably different way than most. I've often wondered why, and after years of thought, I have it pinned down to a few different things.

First, I am an extreme introvert. I live completely within myself. That may be due largely to my dissatisfaction with reality. Or maybe I'm genuinely shy. Either way, even the people closest to me will never know half of who I really am, because my thoughts and feelings dwell so deep inside of me and I rarely share them. I'm very comfortable in my own skin, so I deal with things by myself.

Second, I am the opposite of a procrastinator. What does that have to do with emotion? I anticipate things. I don't live in the present, I live in the future. I dream, I predict; I like to be one step ahead of the game, always knowing what's coming, expecting the unexpected. Because I anticipate things, I deal with them emotionally in advance. I'm sure that sounds ridiculous, but it works really well for me. If I know something is going to happen, I create the event in my head and deal with the emotions ahead of time. Then I can handle the situation when I'm faced with it because I've already had time to process it. I guess what it dwells down to is that I like to have complete control over myself at all times. Or as Oscar Wilde once said, “I don't want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them".

Third, I am a perfectionist to the highest degree of the word. I expect myself to be able to handle anything and everything that gets thrown at me. I know it isn't humanly possible, but it's what I strive for. I tend to see emotional expression as weakness. If I can't handle my own emotions, I certainly can't and won't expect other people to be burdened by them. I consider emotion a personal responsibility. Handling your emotions is like brushing your teeth- if you make it a habit to take care of yourself, you'll get through life easier.

I think it's this combination of characteristics that makes me the way I am emotionally. And while people may comment on my sentimentality (or lack thereof), I think it's important to remember to stay true to yourself. Emotions may connect all of humanity on one level, but they are a highly individualized phenomena on the other. We cannot begin to understand each other if we first don't understand ourselves.

The Case of the Vanishing Rectangle, and Other Design-Related Mysteries

(this was inspired by an issue brought up in my Design Culture class)

First, a definition. Planned obsolescence or built-in obsolescence in industrial design is a policy of planning or designing a product with a limited useful life, so it will become obsolete, unfashionable or no longer functional after a certain period of time (Wikipedia).

Now, read this article regarding Apple designs. It's good I swear! http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/10/28/disruptions-you-know-you-cant-live-without-apples-latest-glass-rectangle/

And finally, a word of my own...

Built-in obsolescence is nothing but an annoyance from the consumer’s point of view. Most people aren’t made of money, so the notion of investing your funds in an item with a “limited useful life” seems absurd. Design should facilitate our lives, not cause problems. How annoying is it to have to replace the batteries in your calculator in the middle of a homework assignment, or better yet, how annoying is it that you can't replace the battery in your iPod when it dies? Very. But did you ever stop to think that those items were designed to manipulate you? Built in obsolescence is not a new phenomenon, so we’ve sort of become accustomed to things like changing batteries, or replacing an item completely because you are unable to change its battery. In modern times it's even more annoying when we know the technology exists to avoid such problems, and yet it isn’t always implemented. Why? Economics.

From a commercial point of view, I can understand why built-in obsolescence exists. It’s a cushion, or a near guarantee that businesses will continue to prosper despite the fast-paced changes occurring in the world. Apple is the prime example. They seem to put out new products in the blink of an eye, but with only very slight adjustments to either the software or physical design. Lots of people find this wrong, but I think the fault is in the consumers just as much as the producers. Sure, it could be said that Apple is taking advantage of its audience by constantly tempting them with new products, but the bigger issue in my opinion is that PEOPLE ACTUALLY FALL FOR IT! Why on Earth would you buy the new iPod nano, when your “old” version from 6-months ago still functions absolutely fine? What companies like Apple are really doing is altering our very culture, making people far more materialistically conscious than they need to be. It’s creating a social hierarchy based on who has the most up-to-date technology. That is not to say that everyone falls into the Apple trap. Actually, I know many people, including myself, who avoid it quite actively. In my life, I have owned a single iPod. I’ve had it for five years, and I have no desire to upgrade it. I am well aware, however, that the irreplaceable battery will soon die, and I will be left with a decision: do I invest in a new iPod, do I buy another brand of mp3 player, or do I live without? Whatever I chose, I find myself engaged in the unavoidable battle of built-in obsolescence.

And then there's the issue of increasing commonality. As built-in obsolescence becomes more uniformly immersed in our society, technology all starts to look the same. Why the obsession with electronic “rectangles”??? Why not circles or pyramids? I'm kidding of course. But it seems to me that the manufacturers are dictating society and I can’t help but wonder, when will we draw the line? Will people ever crave variation in design again, or has the function of an electronic object completely overridden its physical essence? That's not to say that people don't care about the looks of a product, because THEY DO. But has technology cut back on the carbs or what, because it's withering away to nothing! What will happen when we reach the limit for how thin a Macbook Air can physically be? Will things start getting bigger again? Will we find a way to eradicate the physical design completely and download the software directly into our brains? Sounds like a science fiction novel, but maybe it's not so far off. At this point in time, it's hard to reckon where electronic design is headed in the future.

The Present is a Gift

There are people who live in the past, people who live exclusively in the present, and people still, who live in a constant state of striving for an optimal future. I'd consider myself a combination of the first and last, which goes completely against the age old theory of living in the moment. 
People who are capable of living just for the here and now are blessed, but perhaps they are missing out on some of the finer points of life. Letting go of the past is just an excuse for trying to forget your mistakes, or erasing painful memories. But those memories make us who we are. Without those prior experiences, we would not be the same people we are today. And while living in the past is physically impossible, some people will drive themselves insane trying to solve or correct their histories. But life isn't always a puzzle to be solved, sometimes it's just about learning to accept and deal with the things that have happened and using those experiences to guide yourself. The past is very important to me. I spend a lot of time reflecting and remembering the good and bad times I've had, and those memories help me determine who or what has made my life great, and what I wish to exclude or include in my life from that point on. What is it they say we accomplish from studying history? We learn from our mistakes, and build towards a better future. And speaking of the future, there's absolutely nothing wrong with planning ahead, setting goals for yourself, or dreaming big- just realize that "tomorrow" is always undefined. It's okay to strive for something you want as long as you already have everything you need. I'm a dreamer. There's no squelching that. I like to imagine what grand and phenomenal possibilities the future can offer. But that doesn't mean I'm unsatisfied with the present- it just means I have confidence in myself and who I have the potential to become if I'm given the opportunity.
So living in the moment is really just a lifestyle choice. Those people may seem happy and carefree, but it's only because they don't acknowledge the past or let the future burden them. In my opinion, life has more depth when you learn to balance all three time zones. The present is empty without a past and a future surrounding it.

10 Not-so-Guilty Pleasures

"Why are you're trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out?"  

That is the question; whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of widespread judgement or to take arms against a shallow sea of people, and by opposing, lessen said judgement.
And yes, I did just go all "Shakespeare" on you. Sorry 'bout that. Moving right along...

Some people go through life, too ashamed to admit some of the ridiculous, unusual, or maybe embarrassing things that make them happy. But I'm here to say that if something makes you happy- embrace it! Share it with others! Because life is short, and suppressing your own happiness due to societal pressures is essentially the stupidest thing you possibly do. If you find that something tickles your fancy, odds are, it probably tickles someone else's fancy as well... (I realize that sounds slightly awkward- but it's just such a good phrase, I had to use it)! Point being: everyone has their undisclosed infatuations, and you'd be surprised by the unfathomably common mutuality of your guilty pleasures. So today I've compiled a list of 10 things that I love- and I've ranked them in order of ascending embarrassment as such:

#1) DISNEY MUSIC!!! No shame here. Anybody who knows me, knows I ADORE Disney music! There's no better way to de-stress from reality than to jam out to I'll Make a Man Out of You, Mine Mine Mine, Under the Sea, or Be Our Guest (just a few of my very favorites).

#2) Oatmeal Cookies. There really isn't anything shameful about liking oatmeal cookies- except HOW much I like them. Normally, when you're consuming something sweet, your body reaches a point of sugar overload where whatever you were eating no longer tastes good. Happens to me all the time, just not when I eat oatmeal cookies. If I to bake a batch right now, I could eat them all and want more. It's almost sickening, but there's just something about a warm, soft, oatmeal cookie that I can't get enough of!

#3) Facebook. Ridiculous, I know. It's sickening how the internet has absorbed all of humanity. Sadly, I am one of those people who is on Facebook quite a lot of the day. I used to hate people like that, but especially since starting college, Facebook has become pretty much the only way for me to keep in touch with all my long distance friends! And unfortunately 99.99% of my friends are long distance, so naturally I spend a lot of time creeping on them in order to keep myself updated. It's an addiction, but it satisfies my loneliness, thus bringing me happiness!

#4) Spy Movies. All I can say is that I've had a life-long obsession with everything spy-related and I blame it on my father. Due to the complete ambiguity of his work for the government combined his excessively frequent absence and constant traveling, I guess I grew up theorizing that my dad is in fact a secret agent, out saving the world rather than sitting behind a desk. In fact, before I was born, both of my parents had the highest possible level of top-secret clearance due to the nature of their work. (Naturally, I have no idea what it is they used to do...) And while everyone thinks I'm joking about my father being a spy- I can assure you, I'm not! And older I get, the more convinced I become. So I guess I enjoy spy thrillers because I feel I can relate to certain aspects.

#5) Knee Socks. I'm not sure why, but knee socks make me incredibly happy! I find them extremely comforting, if that makes any sense at all... for some reason wearing socks that come up so high gives me a feeling a security, and simultaneously makes me feel pretty geeky- in an awesome way. I don't think I own any knee socks presently, and now I have a rather strong urge to go out and buy some!

#6) Unconventional Vocabulary. I don't know why, but I've always loved using words that aren't commonly used, such as "snazzy" or "boustrophedonically"! It brings out my inner nerd I guess. Not to mention, I get great pleasure seeing people's reactions when I use these words in casual conversation.

#7) Tights and Leotards. This might sounds peculiar, but as a ballet dancer- I honestly feel more comfortable wearing tights and a leotard than anything else in the world. It's sort of bizarre because most people would consider that extremely UN-comfortable. But, they've become like my second skin- probably because I've spent about half my life wearing them. I guess I just feel the most "me" in them.

#8) Zac Efron. Random, but I can't deny it! His name has been tainted ever since High School Musical, but I (sheepishly) admit that I find him quite adorable... and contrary to popular opinion, I think he's become a pretty decent actor. [That was actually semi-difficult to admit because most people don't know that about me]

#9) Justin Bieber's Boyfriend. UGH- I am quite ashamed to say that this is one of my favorite songs to jam to while I'm driving. Let it be known that I am in NO way a fan of Justin Bieber- quite the contrary- but something about this song is extremely catchy to my ear, and despite the stupid lyrics, I cannot resist singing along when I hear it!

#10) Guys with British Accents. I've put this at the top of my list, not because I'm afraid to admit it- but because it's embarrassing how much joy it brings me. Guys with British accents are pretty much my favorite thing in the entire world! Their voices melt my heart and make me giddy like the way you get when you see an adorable baby animal. And the 2012 London Olympics this summer certainly only escalated my love of the English. (And, on the topic of British accents, I must admit that my all time favorite romance movie is Letters to Juliet because the character Charlie is pretty much the best thing since sliced bread!)

And there you have it, my friends. Ten unusual things that bring me joy!
So what are your guilty pleasures???

Prompt #1

One thing I'd really like to do in my lifetime is publish a book. So, in effort to keep me on my toes and maintain my writing skills, I'll be posting short little tidbits such as this, using various creative writing prompts as inspiration.


What can happen in a second?

Anything.
Everything.
Nothing.

A second could mean the difference between
life and death
love and hate
war and peace

In one second...
A object entering Earth's atmosphere can travel 44 miles
A human eye can blink seven times
Light travels 186,000 miles
A hummingbird beats its wings 50 times
Earth advances 18 miles in its orbit around the sun
Four babies are born and two people die

But a second could also be just that. A second. A small fraction of our lives in which nothing much happens aside from the passing of time.

A second is what you make it, so make every second count.

Makes Me Happy

I don't know about the rest of you, but every once in awhile, as I'm venturing through the virtual expanse we know as the internet- I come across something hilarious or inspiring or something that, quite frankly, just makes me happy! This is one of those things! If you haven't seen it, please do yourself a favor and watch it! It's well worth your while, and if nothing else, it will take you on a fantastic journey back to your childhood.
                                  
                           Behold the One Man Disney Medley

                            

Now, I could go on a rant about how amazing that was, but instead I'll just leave you to form your own opinion. Long story short, this guy is rapidly gaining recognition and I wanted to be the one to share the awesomeness of Nick Pitera with you!

PS. If you like Phantom of the Opera or Les Miserables, you should check out the links below! They are equally incredible videos! Enjoy!

                                            One Man Phantom

                             


                               One Man Les Mis

                              

The Thrill of Villainy

Recently, I’ve found myself being repeatedly intrigued by the villains I encounter in modern media. Naturally, my immediate reaction was that this peculiar new interest of mine is somewhat concerning.  But then I remembered back to AP Literature in high school. At some point in that class, I wrote a paper entitled the Thrill of Villainy, discussing the mesmerizing qualities that make the villains of classic literature so successful. Thinking back to what I wrote, I began to dissect my favorite villains and try to justify my fascination with them. Here's a general summary of what I deduced (all of which seems extremely obvious now that I've typed it out):

1) Villains drive the plot. Let's face it- most of the time, the absence of a villain would mean the absence of a story. Villains complicate things by creating obstacles for others. Life is never simple. There is good and bad, and while those two categories waver depending on your personal ethics, conflict between different types of people is inevitable.

2) Villains add pizazz. Be it a foreign accent, an eccentric lifestyle or a snazzy mustache- the villain is often very charismatic and exciting in one way or another.

3) Villains are Mysterious. Unless you're a terrible person, (in which case, I'm not sure why you're spending your time reading this blog instead of taking over the world, or whatever it is you bad guys do these days) you can never fully understand a villain. Or perhaps, such as in a murder mystery, you don't even know who the villain really is! Regardless, there is always an element of mystery surrounding the villain, which can easily seduce the audience.

4) Villains are unpredictable. I remember writing about this in my essay. Essentially, there are an infinite number of ways to be evil, while doing "the right thing" is extremely limiting. Therefore, you can often predict how the opposing force will act and react, but you can never be sure what to expect from the villain.

5) The best villains have comprehensive motivation. A villain who wants to take over the world just for the fun of it, isn't very exciting or relatable... The development of a complex villain however, is nothing short of fascinating. The evil genius types are particularly good. Perhaps they were influenced or mistreated by a parent or someone they cared about, or driven by their intellect and crossed some lines in the pursuit of knowledge/money/power (things that normal people seek, but on a miniscule level in comparison). It makes sense to be able to connect with a villain (assuming they're human) on a loose, but somewhat personal level. Just a smidgen of understanding goes a long way.

6) Villains are capable of the unimaginable. Most people struggle with the thought of intentionally inflicting pain on a fellow human being. There's that classic scenario of a bad guy breaking into your home and taking your family hostage followed by the haunting question of "Would you be able to kill said bad guy, if you and your family's lives depended on it?" A lot of people can't answer that query because it's something we can't and don't want to imagine. Yet, it's something we encounter in modern media all the time. One of the reasons villains are so intriguing is because they are capable of what most of us would consider to be unfathomable feats.

7) Villains have it easy. Contrary to what I just said above about the difficulty of evil, at the same time, villains sort of take drive through life via Easy Street. It's a whole lot simpler to play dirty and eliminate your enemy than it is to be tolerant, understanding, compromising and loving. And with that being said- it is my personal (realistic, not pessimistic) opinion that humans are born innately neutral- with a significantly higher tendency towards bad than good, meaning simply that being good, like anything else, requires a whole lot o' work!

 This is the point where I could start listing examples of some of the villains I find so intriguing, but most of you would have no clue who or what I was talking about. Instead, I will just quickly mention that one of my all time favorite villains is Lex Luthor (Smallville) because his back story is so incredibly complex! Even though he is ridden with evil in the end, I can't help but find myself connecting with his character on the most basic levels of humanity and sometimes even wishing I could justify his actions along the way, but knowing when lines are being crossed unforgivably. Those internal fluctuations between right and wrong, knowing that we can never fully understand other people's actions, are like a science within themselves. And that, my friends, is what I like to call the thrill of villainy.

Sidenote: If you haven't seen Dreamwork's Megamind, I highly recommend it! While it seems like a silly animated comedy on the surface, it's actually extremely witty and quite insightful as far as the art of villainy goes. Watch it! And I dare you not to love the main character (who just so happens to be the villain). MUAHAHAHAHA

I Do

Last night, I dreamt that I was getting married. To who? Your guess is as good as mine- but that wasn't the point of the dream. I spent the entire dream choosing a dress, and the only other person there was my sister (the last person I would ever actually take wedding dress shopping- no offense to her). And I should probably mention that the gowns I tried on weren't even in my true taste.
Now, usually, I tend to be the type of person who dreams so realistically, that I often wonder where reality ends and my dream world begins. But something about this particular dream struck me as improbable, and sent me into a fluctuating state of skeptical half-consciousness. The dream really didn't go anywhere- I woke up with a sort of postcard-kind-of-memory branded in my brain, and a vague recollection of my latest nonsensical mental concoction. Naturally though, this has got me a-thinking about that enormous elephant that lurks in the corner of every woman's mind- marriage.
At twenty years old, I think the scariest thing about that word is the fact that it's no longer a phantasmagorical ship, floating off in the distance of our lives. No siree. That sucker is harboring some serious legitimacy now, and just waiting to make port.
Now obviously, as someone whose never even dated, I can't say that marriage is in my near future. But it is becoming a more prominent part of my life. Since I've started college, I've made several friends who are slightly older than myself, many of whom happen to be married already. I even have a friend younger than myself who just tied the knot. I'm in no rush to join the bandwagon here- but as more and more relationship statuses creep from being "single" to "married"... I can't help but feel that whack of reality smacking me in the face and trying to drag me out of my complete submersion in academia. It's kind of crazy how fast time flies by- how fast things (people [life]) change(s). I guess what I'm getting as it the fact that the past two years of my life have sped by at practically the speed of light, and while marriage seems like such a foreign idea to me now, the concept of it is looming in the (relatively) near future, and let's face it- every girl likes to imagine the perfect love story for herself.
I don't know about ya'll, but I've never given much thought to what my wedding would be like- aside from one little detail that has always loomed in my brain. How do you chose your maid of honor, someone you single out as your right hand (wo)man for such a momentous occasion.  I know that it's absolutely ridiculous of me to think about such things right now, but nevertheless, I do (no pun intended).

What are your thoughts?! I'm curious :)

Olympic Stirrings

I have hated sports since the day I was born. I've never been athletic, but that's not the reason for my intense dislike of all athletics. It's more along the lines of I just don't understand the purpose. I mean, I get that it's about competition, learning to work with a team and pushing yourself to personal and worldly limits, but what do sports really accomplish? Nothing. Not a single thing except pride, money, and/or a trophy. I don't understand the emphasis that our world puts on the playing games, nor the fame that those players receive- especially when there are people, like doctors, who better the lives of millions of people, and yet they go through life unnoticed. WHY?! I mean, why is it that people willingly sit in front of a tv or carry on casual conversation about guys who can kick a ball into a net? Not to diss all the amazing athletes out there- it's great that you guys have goals and can become the best in the world at whatever it is that you love to do. I admire that. What I don't admire is the attention that it gets. Hundreds/thousands of years from now, when our species is fighting for survival, is it really going to matter who was the best football player in the 21st century? No- what's going to matter is the research or contribution of some nameless person who devoted their life to science, or charity, in one way or another, changing the world. So I guess my original statements are incorrect. It's not that I don't respect athletes- because I do! I just think that the things they accomplish are more personal than global- but that's not the way my fellow man sees it. Perhaps I should try a different approach...
In what way is it fair that Obama, the leader of our country, receives $400,000 a year for his service to our nation and the world, while Tiger Woods pockets $60 million for hitting a ball with a club??? I don't care what your political stance or personal opinion of our president is- I am not into politics in the least- but in my opinion, ANYONE who attempts to runs our country (regardless of the mistakes they might make along the way) in effort to better this US of A, deserves more recognition and reciprocity than any athlete. It makes me ill knowing that professional sports players have things handed to them on a silver platter while other people struggle to contribute money, manpower, and knowledge to this world.
On a slightly different note, I've been watching the Olympics the last few days- more so than ever before, and I must admit that I quite enjoy watching the swimming and gymnastics. Those people are crazy talented. But, getting to the point- I don't understand how countries across the globe can come together to play games like we don't have a care in the world, but as soon as the competition is over, we return to our normal states of warring and dispute. Why is that? Could we not apply some of this good citizenship and friendly competition to real world problems??? Just something to consider...

And I'd like to end with one of my favorite quotes, something from John Green's The Fault In Our Stars:
"I used to play basketball. But then one day I was shooting free throws and all at once I couldn't figure out why I was methodically tossing a spherical object through a toroidal object. It seemed like the stupidest thing I could possibly be doing. And then for some reason I started thinking about hurdlers- about them and their hurdle races, and jumping over these totally arbitrary objects that had been set in their path. And I wondered if hurdlers ever thought, you know, this would go a lot faster if we just got rid of the hurdles."

Thinking

I recently spent a little time with my cousin and I was sitting on her bed when she asked me an absolutely phenomenal question. Are you ready for this?

Why is it that we seem to only exist in our head? (sure, you're thinking, well duh- because that's where are brain is...) That's what I was thinking too. But my cousin inquired as to why we don't feel ourselves, in say, our foot. Why is consciousness only in the mind? Is it really our brain that makes us feel like we're in our heads- or is it our eyes? What if our eyes were on our stomach. Wouldn't that change our perspective? Would we feel like our essence of existence was then located in our core? Or would we still live in our noggins? And furthermore, is it because we know so much nowadays about our anatomy that we feel as if our existence is in our heads? Were people in the past more in tune with their entire bodies? Or did they too feel the obvious weight of our cranial appendage?

Just something to ponder...

Meanings

In my boredom, I decided to research the meaning behind my first name. The description I found was so eerily accurate, I began using the same website to look at my parents and sisters names. When the descriptions of my entire family fit each of us flawlessly, I knew I had to share! (even our dog, Cody, fits his profile haha)

According to http://www.first-names-meanings.com/

Crystal is…
Self-motivated, efficient, resourceful, active and courageous, these are powerful personalities. They need to shine, want to impress and love attracting attention to themselves indirectly. They are original, scorn all that is ordinary and are not made for subordinate roles. As bad losers, failure can drive them crazy. Luckily, they know exactly how to grab hold of the opportunities that life offers them.They can be exclusive and have difficulty sharing, such is their need for privacy.
They are also drawn to the spiritual dimension. They appreciate moments of solitude, peace and quiet, which they can spend far away in thought, meditating or cultivating their minds. They are fascinated by the supernatural. In matters of the heart, you´ll seldom catch them blushing or flushing, and they will never expose their deepest feelings. They are particularly mysterious and quite out of reach. In a potential partner they look for a similarity of interests and values above all else, and are extremely selective when it comes to choosing their lovers and friends. As young women, taking on the roles of wife and mother are far from being number one on their list of priorities. Crystal intends, first and foremost, to succeed in her personal and professional lives.

WOW. I mean, even the people I’m closest to couldn’t write a more accurate explanation of my personality. Creeeeeeeepy!!!!!!!

Just Do It

Like a lot of people, I’ve always thought that starting anything is the hardest part. Once you get going, you have the momentum to carry on… but generating the energy to begin with is seemingly impossible. Now here I am with this snazzy blog, and nothing to talk about. Actually, I have a million things I want to talk about- it’s just that I’m not in the mood to talk about those things. Go figure.
______________________________________________________________
So, after Googling (<which, by the by, I m surprised the computer doesn’ t recognize as a word yet) “things to blog about”, and reading through lists of mostly stupid, boring and un-relateable subjects, I made some self-discoveries that I think are worth sharing.
I wrote one of my UCLA application essays on identity- about how I think life is a combination of discovering who you already are and creating who you want to be. Self discovery and self creation. I ’m a firm believer that people are born a certain way, we just don t always understand ourselves or develop to our true potential. I don’ t know why this whole thing suddenly popped into my head, but I just realized, that the person I am currently working so hard to become… is the very same person I have been all my life. Let me explain.
It kind of all comes down to college. That point in our lives where we make these crucial decisions, trying to find our way. Three years ago, my decision to study architecture felt somewhat forced- I knew had to chose a field, and I knew that I was good as drafting, and I wasn’ t interested in any the other majors I saw listed on college websites. Today, I study architecture, not only because I want to, but because I truly believe, it’s what I was born to do. By now, I bet you’re wondering where this is going- but it will all come together, I swear!
When I was in second grade, my dad went on a business trip to France and he sent me a postcard with the Eiffel Tower on it. That, combined with my childhood love of the show Madeline (did any of you watch that?!), and the bits of French I picked up in ballet class, sparked my lifelong desire to go to Paris. As soon as I have the money, that’ll be my first international travel destination. But, just now, I was wondering why I really want to go there. And there’s really only one answer… to see the Eiffel Tower. Sure, it’s an iconic, (and, as you’re probably thinking, overrated) landmark made of iron lattice (that the French living in 1889 found incredibly atrocious), but there is just SOMETHING about that tower that captured my heart the instant I saw it. It’s a 1050 foot work of art, every bit as impressive as the Mona Lisa siting in the Louvre.
Back in sixth grade, my history class was learning about Egypt, and we had to do a (pretty darn extensive) project on  a subject of our choice. I remember doing my research, and nothing seemed to interest me- not the mummies, not the geography, not the Pharaohs… I don’t remember the details, but somehow, I ended up choosing to do my project on the pyramids and the Sphinx (aka Egyptian architecture). Thinking back to it, that is probably the one and only segment of my elementary education that I remember finding absolutely fascinating. But of course, as a sixth grader, I wasn’t thinking about how to apply my interests to a career.
Later, in eighth grade, I remember having high school students come and give a presentation on the different electives offered at SYVHS. For some reason, drafting sparked my interest, but at the same time, it sounded a little to technical and overwhelming for someone just entering high school. So I ended up taking art instead. Two years down the road, I was looking an elective to fit in my schedule. But I remembered back to eighth grade, and how drafting sounded like it could be good for me. So I gave it a try. I was the only girl in that class my last two years of high school- and I didn’t like having to endure an hour and forty minutes, every other day, of stupid little freshman and sophomore boys and their shenanigans. And to be completely honest- it was pretty darn boring. All we did was create the technical drawings for existing objects- very engineer-oriented. But, the spring of my junior year, my teacher entered me in a county architecture competition. At first I was like uh, hello, I don’t know the first thing about designing a house, because all I do is sit around draw schematics of car parts with a bunch of little boys all day… but it obviously worked out for the best, because I ended up winning first place that year (which, by the way, I still don’t fully understand). And it wasn’t until the moment they handed me that trophy that I even considered the possibility of someday being an architect. That’s also when I found out that my dad had started out as an architecture major at USC (before supposedly switching to engineering because he anticipated the higher salary- but we all know he ended up as a spy so…). Anyway, the only reason I signed up for drafting a second year was so I could do that competition again. I placed seventh the second time around. By then, I’d already decided to study architecture, but there were still some doubts lurking in the back of my mind.
In my senior year of high school, my family went on a trip to DC. We did all the typical tourist sightseeing, but my parents didn’t seem to enjoy it quite as much as I did. I LOVED DC… there’s just something about all the classical white buildings and the stories behind them- I can’t even come up with words to describe it, but I loved it! It’s elegant, and exciting, and old, yet so clean and modern and beautiful!
Now, after actually having studied architecture for a year, I know I’m in the right field. The idea of designing the very world we live in, and having the power to manipulate human behavior and emotion with, essentially, a large-scale art project, BLOWS my mind. It’s kind of like being the indirect puppeteer of humanity… okay, now I just sound like a nerd.
My point is, that I think I was born to be a designer… and there were all these clues in my childhood- I just didn’t see them at the time. Even to this day, I’ll be watching TV, and I’ll think to myself, you know, I could’ve been an Olympic ice skater, or a dancer, or a scientist… but then I quickly realize why I’m NOT any of those things. It simply wasn’t meant to be.  Sure- I could’ve trained/studied/striven to become anything I wanted… but it wouldn’t be natural. It’s weird, it’s like, I just now put all this together. I feel like I’ve finished the straight-edge border of a puzzle, and now I’ve got the rest of my life to fill it in. Like, all the stress of the last few years, trying to “find myself” was so unnecessary, because I was there all the time, just looking in all the wrong places…